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No Words

17 Sep

Unslumping oneself is not so easily done-Dr. Suess.

Having spent decades in a funk. Not knowing exactly what to do with my life and talents I developed some pretty hardy patterns of unhappiness and “slumpiness.” As I am developing new skills and embracing myself and my life, I find those old habits hard to break. And in my in box, this morning, was this quote.

Courage, ah. Internal fight and drive. I have followed through on so many things and create some new pathways in my brain. The real work is the courage to stick with it everyday.

I read a lot, I have mentioned before. Right now I think I have 7 books open. This one book, “Psychomagic” by Alejandro Jodorowsky, seemed unlikely for yogic inspiration. I am not sure why I thought that, but I did, and my bad. There is one part where he is talking about advancing consciousness and starts in on the limits of language as a tool for expression. There is a Sutra that talks about this as well, 48. In sutra 48, Patanjali talks about absolute truth or rather absolute true consciousness. Of course it is a something that I struggle with because it goes completely against my minds idea of understanding. NOT USING WORDS.

This idea that god is beyond the understanding of the “mind. because the mind is matter.” I just blowing my mind. It is taking all the courage and faith that I have to accept that there is truth to something that is incomprehensible by my human brain. So last night, as I read “The Fifth Agreement,” I stumbled on something that helped me in my acceptance.

“All humans are programmed to perceive the truth, and we don’t need language to do this. But in order to express the truth, we need to use a language, and that expression is our art. It’s no longer the truth because words are symbols, and symbols can only “symbolize” the truth.”

Heavy. So what needs your courage right now?


It begins

7 Aug

After spending the entire month of July in yoga teacher training, I am more flexible in mind body and spirit and yet I have so many questions about my life path and my point of focus.

I have wanted to be a yoga instructor for most of my life and like so many things I didn’t do it because I was afraid. Because there were obstacles in my path, because I didn’t think it was for people like me. We all have obstacles, mine happen to be 50 extra lbs, 20 years spent pursuing a career path that I am very good at but less than passionate about, and a habit of putting other peoples wants and needs before my own.

It is interesting that today, when attending a class taught by a fellow Summer School Graduate, her intention for the class was kleshas. Of course we talked about klesha in depth during yoga teacher training but it was sitting as a student in front of Lisa that allowed me to really think about how my afflictions had been hold me back for so many years. I had already committed myself to blogging about my path for the next year, but I didn’t know where to start. And, it was so clear when she started to talk. I let these obstacles prevent me from doing the very things in life that would allow me to live most fully. The same way that so many of my friends do. The same way our parents do or our grandparents did. It is an epidemic really, and essentially we let imaginary things distract us from our true selves.

So after I had my AHA, I see light shooting out of Lisa’s ears moment, I thought damn, ok, here is my starting point.

And, so it begins….

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